so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
