Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
