we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize