did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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