He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
