so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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