the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
