Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
