Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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