bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
