i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
did you just send me my own nude
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
