we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and she was petting her beer can
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
