I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
youre lurking in front of me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
