I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
