I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
