She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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