oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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