I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
