DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
