Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
