i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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