just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
