You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
