Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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