I hope mine doesn't look like that
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
