I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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