Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
