my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
