So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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