So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
