you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
