He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
