Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
