only if we run a train.
done.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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