you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
is it fun? or sober?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
