How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
