it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
