Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
