Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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