you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
