in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
