Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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