My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
