the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Farmville is her only friend.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
