I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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