Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
