Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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