Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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