If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven