David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic