he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
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Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
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I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.