this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
