I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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