My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
