Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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