some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Drake has all the answers
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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