is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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