Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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