So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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