Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You're a waste of cheezeits
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
