jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
