Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize