Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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