I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
